Not sure why the pictures are such low quality when uploaded or why the B&W tone changes in some pictures but I am to lazy to figure it out.
He is here! Ok like 10 weeks ago he came but as you may or
may not know life with a newborn tends to make the days slip by much faster. Before
you know it there is no longer a newborn and panic sets in because you realize
that you haven’t documented as much of their life as you planned too, and it is
only the beginning and you’ve already fallen behind!
Such is life . . . well my life at least.
Beckett Oakley
Tillotson was born on August 10th at 1:20 a.m.
He was born on the same day as my grandmother, his great
grandmother and the same day as Sandie Tillotson Day in Knoxville Tennessee-
who is his Tu Tu (Hawaiian for Grandma).
I was hoping he wouldn’t be too late like Porter (almost a
week) so the day before his due date I spent many a hours bouncing on the tramp
hoping to get something going. I was woken at 4 am on August 9th to the ever so lovely feeling of
contractions. They were intense -not the Braxton hicks contractions. So, I got
the lab top and my contraction counter and started to time them and watch
movies. They were anywhere from 15 minutes to 4 minutes apart lasting a minute
or two…so nothing really stable. This continued on until about 10:30 in the
morning. It was around this time I thought that the contractions where starting
to go away. The disappointment was sinking in as I was sitting on
the couch thinking it was a false alarm. Right then I suddenly felt this odd
pop and then a gush of water. I literally thought I had peed my pants, but then
more water kept coming and I thought there is no way my bladder could EVER hold
that much water. Derek had been on calls all morning so I yelled to him in the
other room, “I think you need to end that call because my water just broke.”
A quick shower and car ride later I was checking into the
hospital. The hospital staff has the mentality of guilty until proven innocent.
If you walk in calm and collected claiming to be in labor and that your water
broke they raise an eyebrow at you and say “Well . . . we will just see about that
. . .” full of skepticism. I blame Hollywood for dramatizing life events so
that everyone has a jaded view of what a women is like in the beginning stages
of labor. However, the ending stages might actually hold true to the Hollywood
hype.
So, they skeptically bring me to a room and ask me some questions
then check me, and sure enough my water had broke. Which was a relief because I
was seriously starting to doubt myself with how they were treating me. Big sigh
of relief, I knew this baby was coming and would be here by the day’s end,
which was exciting!
With porter I was induced and instantly put on
Pitocin to get labor going. So, I never really had time to labor it out because
of how intense the Pitocin was and how quickly it brought everything on. With
this baby I wanted to try and hold off on the epidural as long as possible
because I have really long labors and didn’t want to be confined to a bed for
hours and hours…well that ended up happening any ways.
Around 3:00 I was tired and the contractions where getting more
painful. They checked me and I was at a 5- I decided I had felt enough and was
ready for the epidural.
My epidural did not go as smoothly as planned. There was a
new anesthesiologist and he just happened to be working the day of my delivery.
Because I am so petite I guess it is easier to administer the epidural, which
also gives the added risk of puncturing my spinal column. What is a punctured
spinal column you ask? It’s a small hole in your spine that spinal fluid leaks
out of when you stand up, causing your brain to sag and pull on your skull as
the fluid drains…this in turn creates the most intense headaches ever. The
headaches start up a few days after the procedure. I didn’t learn that he had punctured my spinal
column until a few days after having Beckett when I started to get really
intense headaches. No, I could wait a
month for the hole to close up on it’s own or do something called a blood
patch-which I did- which was very painful.
Mean while back at the hospital at the time of administration
he overdosed me! I was lying in bed a couple minutes after the epidural and I
began to feel very very weird… Then I kept telling Derek to move me here or do
this or that. I started to get more
panicky and insistent until I was in a full blown panic attack. At this point I had turned into a lunatic and
Derek awkwardly said to me, “I am going to call the nurse…” So, Derek pages the
nurse and by this time I had gone blue and my heart rate had dropped
dangerously low. They called in the anesthesiologist who took some magic
syringe out of his pocket and injected it into me instantly to stabilize me. Yeah I know –what the drama? I keep trying to
tell myself that all of this couldn’t have been as bad as having an
un-medicated birth. But you can bet I sent out a very specific letter of
complaint about a certain anesthesiologist.
They did figure out the correct
dosage and everything else went great. I labored and progressed slowly. Which I
expected. I hoped to have him by 10:00 p.m. that night but as soon as 8:00 hit
I knew that wasn’t going to happen. I didn’t want any other drugs (Pitocin)
during my labor. I knew my body could progress on it’s own and do what it was
suppose to. So I didn’t see the need for Pitocin, which the hospital kept
suggesting, over and over… to speed things along. Too bad they were on my time
schedule and I was in no rush. Around 1:00 a.m. I was fully dilated and ready
to go. I pushed for 20 minutes and then everyone gasped as they saw that he was
a little bit bigger than they thought he would be. He was perfect and plump-for
my standard of baby- weighing 6lbs 7 oz. and 20” long. More than a pound bigger
than Porter and a couple inches longer too.
My favorite is when they place this new person on your chest
right after delivery and you get to look into their big wide eyes for the first
time. My Dr. was kind enough to let me have this moment for a little bit longer
than normal. For the next five minutes it was calm and still as we laid looking
at each other. Both of us probably trying to figure out if we measured up to the
others expectations.
Beckett, You surpassed mine.
You came out calm, barely a whimper.
This was the first clue that you are a low key, laid back
soul.
I love your quiet spirit-calmly taking in our family each
day.
Posterity is such a great blessing. I’m privileged to be a
mother. Your mother.
